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THE LEG FIGHTERS (a.k.a. INVINCIBLE KUNG FU LEGS) (1981) Directed by: Lee Tso-nam Starring: Hsia Kwan-li, Tan Tao-liang | |
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Ever see a woman get a fair shake in an action movie? Mostly they stand
around and whimper, maybe they run real fast once or twice before falling
to the ground and flailing helplessly, unable to rise unassisted. The
villain is too powerful for the weak little woman, and it's up to the
hero (usually 20 years older and kind of chunky) to rescue her from her
doom, causing her to be so grateful that she puts out in the last scene.
After all, where would she be without her man? If it's like that in America it must be like that all over the world, right? Wrong. In China, a noble history of kickass chicks, warrior princesses, fighting nuns, high-kicking hookers, and rock solid teenage girls decimating armies of hairy-backed goons with a sword soaked in steaming blood stretches back thousands of years. Out to avenge a dead husband, father, or boyfriend, revenging crimes against their family, righting wrongs done to their person, or maybe just really pissed off - whatever the reason, these tough cookies will use any excuse to leap into the path of danger and use their feet, fists, swords, sticks, pots, and pans to inflict severe head trauma on whichever particular miscreant happens to be raining on their parade that day. Many of these movies have sunk into obscurity. Screeching and clawing, THE LEG FIGHTERS is unsinking itself with a vengeance. An ultra-violent version of KISS ME KATE, THE LEG FIGHTERS gives us the lovely Phoenix, played by Hsia Kwan-li. A classmate of one of the Five Deadly Venoms she was going to make it big, before her career got sidetracked into supporting roles in Tsui Hark movies. THE LEG FIGHTERS was a star vehicle designed just for her and her ultra-flexible legs. Playing daddy's little princess, more at home on the Jersey Shore than Ancient China, Phoenix struts around town with her ultra-irritating servant, Chin Fa (played by the ultra-irritating Jing Long), picking fights with the local jive turkeys and getting into altercations where, unfortunately, Chin Fa is never killed. 
When her new martial arts teacher shows up the two of them hit it off horribly and start trying to kill each other. She's a princess, used to beating people up until she gets her way. He's a butch martial arts master (played by "Flashlegs" Tan Tao-liang), used to being obeyed. Throw into the mix a vicious villain who's out to tear off Tan Tao-liang's head and lay it on his brother's grave and you've got a movie that's one part EDUCATING RITA and one part FIVE FINGERS OF DEATH. Besides the plentiful scenes of the lovely Hsia Kwan-li beating groups of drooling humanoids into the ground with the bottoms of her feet, you've got the added feature of watching everyone fight with their legs. It's a foot fetishist's dream: a world of exposed ankles, knees and calves spread across the screen to inflict a whole nation of hurt on whoever gets underfoot. Hsia Kwan-li is the kind of lady who only shows her gams to knock your block off with them, and she's so good at it that she usually fights with her hands held behind her back. The same terrible fascination exerted by a kid with no arms playing the trumpet radiates from the movie screen like a hypnotic ray. You want to turn away, go to the bathroom, get some popcorn, but you're frozen in your seat with awe at the fearsome things these people do with their feet. Things come to a climax with Flashlegs and Hsia Kwan-li strutting their stuff in the final duel with the scary, white-haired villain, Master Pan. I won't give away the ending, except to say that Master Pan does push the annoying manservant, Chin Fa, into a pit full of ravenous, maddened weasels where he is eaten alive right before the credits roll. Actually, that doesn't happen. You'll be disappointed to hear that Chin Fa not only survives this movie, but he does so without suffering a whole lot of pain. However, that's the only disappointment you'll find in THE LEG FIGHTERS. |
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