7 Grandmasters (89 min; 1977)
BRAND NEW 2K Restoration! With English subtitles!
Produced & Directed by: Joseph Kuo
Starring: Li Yi-min, Jack Long, Lung Fei, Mark Long, Corey Yuen Kwai

Sunday, December 12 @ 1pm
Buy Tickets!

Three movies dominated Times Square grindhouses in the ‘70s and ‘80s. Mad Monkey Kung Fu from Shaw Brothers’ king of kung fu, Lau Kar-leung, was one. The other two were both from Joseph Kuo: Mystery of Chess Boxing and 7 Grandmasters. Mad Monkey is an expensive kung fu epic made with all the resources of the biggest movie studio in Asia. 7 Grandmasters is shot mostly outdoors to save money on sets, uses rented costumes, and its wigs don’t fit. But you didn’t come here for the scenery! With action by Corey Yuen Kwai (one of Jackie Chan’s opera school brothers) and Yuen Cheung-yan (action genius Yuen Wo-ping’s brother) 7 Grandmasters isn’t even five minutes old before the first fight breaks out and that’s when the truth becomes clear. With martial artists kicking up dirt and dishing out hurt, pony tails whipping and feet zipping, Kuo’s flicks deliver pure, uncut action and the fact that these movies were made so fast and cheap actually makes the sheer athleticism of their performers that much more impressive.

Jack Long starts the movie as Master Sang Kuan-chun, proprietor of the Pai Mei fist, who’s gotten a beautiful placard from the emperor proclaiming him the best fighter of all time, written in lovely gold glitter. All of a sudden an anonymous challenge letter arrives out of nowhere saying, “How do you know you’re the best fighter if you haven’t fought everyone?” All that gold glitter turns to cold ashes in Master Sang’s mouth. He thought everyone liked him! He thought they all agreed he was the best fighter! But now his feelings are really hurt and, with so many insecurities rattling around inside his head, there’s only one solution: he has to pick up his wizard staff and wander for two years, fighting every single Master of Kung Fu he can find to reaffirm his position before accepting the emperor’s thoughtful gift.

And so we begin a kung fu roadtrip as Master Sang strolls from one Grandmaster to the next (7 in all), taking them out with Pai Mei Fist (aka The Noogie of Death). No one dies because these fights are about respect, and tradition, and acknowledging that Master Sang is the better marital artist no matter what anonymous challenge letters written by meanies say, but somewhere along the way Master Sang gets framed…for MURDER! As if that isn’t bad enough, he also acquires a new student, Li Yi-min, who’s so irritating that his other students try to beat him to death on a regular basis. But the more Master Sang teaches him the 9 Strikes of Pai Mei (it used to be the 12 Strikes of Pai Mei but someone stole the last 3 from the Pai Mei Instruction Manual) the less irritating Li gets.

By the time we get to the final, no-holds-barred showdown, Li has become our hero, albeit a conflicted one, as secrets are revealed, hidden uncles spring back to life, and someone gets their balls destroyed. Along the way, Kuo shows us such marvels as an earthshattering weapons duel between Jack Long and choreographer Corey Yuen Kwai, a totally bananas battle with Monkey Liu, and a psychedelic progression of increasingly insane kung fu stances that sound like someone’s making them up as they go along: Eagle Catches the Chicken! Cicada Shedding Its Skin! Buddha Standing on His Hands! The mystical Downstream Current! And our personal favorite, Falling On the Ground! Which is what your head will do by the time this beloved, grindhouse basher comes to a close, leaving everyone bloody, battered, and ready for more.